I am that kind of person.
7 years ago I begged to go to a marriage counsellor. We went. It wasn't what i thought it would be. I expected clarity and advice. Instead, a nice old man told us we didn't need counselling and that we could figure it out...
But in the end, no amount of compassion I had (and I had alot of it over these many years) would have motivated my husband to want me.
His lies got old. And I know why he told them... He wanted them to be true.
And it took me all those years to finally let go... lies are lies...
Exhausted. I was the only one fighting for it.
I fought for the truth, and then... one day last year... there it was...
It had been there the entire time and once i saw it, i resisted the urge to shatter into a thousand pieces... I had to stand strong regardless of this realization.
And there i was, standing strong... but it stung.
I wasn't enough... maybe i never had been...
But all things being equal,
(not sure what that means but i love how it sounds)
:)
know this, I'll still do whatever it takes...
For my family.
:)
My kids and my dog,
and me...
I am finally happy.
I am building my self esteem back up, that i lost when I gave it to someone else to be in charge of...
never again...
never ever ever again...
ever......
never ...
:)
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