After a shower, I find little messages on my mirror...
:) "I love you mom"
Usually it is a message of love... or sometimes a drawing...
Today is another busy day with the kids. We will be spending most of the day in Moncton shopping for a winter jacket for Drew and then decorating the yard.
I have been wanting to sit down and watch Transformers again.... so we might have a movie party tonight...
:)
It's 9am...
I better get going...
:)
While living in Thunder Bay, I grew accustomed to their ways. They had Sauna Parties, went snowmobiling in 10 feet of snow to relax, and... strangely, they went to strip clubs before going out drinking and dancing.
There were many strip clubs to choose from to make this point.
I had never been to a strip club before. I didn't expect Vegas but I still expected the dancers to respect their "art".
And there were a few that did, but most of the dancers.... well...they didn't keep their noses clean enough and they succumed to the pressures of the job.
I, personally, found it facinating. And any opinions I had before I stepped in the door, that first time, changed instantly.
I spoke with a friend recently about the strippers that he has seen while traveling the world and he said that the strippers in Southeast Asia are paid well, and are as respected as Doctors. He said that they had very elaborate costumes and trained hard.
I saw some evidence of "training" while in Thunder Bay. You could definately tell which girls had been doing it for a while.
Dancing has always been a way to seduce. Hula dancing, belly dancing, .... strip teasing.... And it still works. And I am not just talking about women. A man on the dance floor is teasing the women watching, because he knows that they are and he works that to his advantage.
There is nothing sexier than a man on the dance floor.
Nothing better in life than slow dancing.
:)
It would start at 9am.
:)
We would go four-wheelin'. Then we would stop somewhere and go hiking to a spot for a picnic lunch (some simple sandwhiches and trail mix). Then hike back to the four wheeler...
Make our way back to his place where we would decide to do something that neither of us have done before, like "Paintball", for a couple of hours....
Then back to his place for a shower, change of clothes, brushetta, and wine.
Some talking on the couch, listening to music, and... then go out for a late supper.
After supper, some dancing... then drive to the beach to walk, sit, throw rocks, laugh, look at stars, and then.... not leave until we saw the sunrise...
(sighs heavily....)
That is the PERFECT date...
:)
Isn't this what every girl wants?
My mom is "old school".
Years ago I lived in Digby and my TV got broken. (Long story).
My mom was horrified. I told her that it had happened the week before and it was actually kind of nice not having a TV blaring away all day long. However, she couldn't imagine her grandkids without a TV, so she packed up one of her two TV's and drove the 4 hrs to bring it to me.
:)
For the last year, we haven't had cable. And honestly, I don't miss it (much)...
I somewhat miss Survivorman, CSI, House, Rick Mercer, and Survivor.
But we have a Fantastic DVD collection, and the kids play "cardboard" games and do puzzles.
We go swimming at the YMCA and hiking. We are busy without the cable but my mom STILL thinks my kids need it.
How will they know what are the cool Christmas toys this year? What about the Christmas shows they'll miss?
Do I want cable? Sometimes I do.
And her nagging on me about it makes me want it all the more....
a guilty pleasure...
But then I remember my "older school" beliefs, that kids should not be infront of a TV when they could be outside building something or inside reading something.
My kids get enough TV time with our DVD collection. Avatar, Harry Potter, Spongebob, Spirited Away, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and the Last Unicorn....
Just the other day, I put my "White Christmas" DVD on. The one with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. I wanted to listen to the music while I scrubbed the floors and did the dishes.
The house was quiet except for the sounds coming from the movie. I was in the kitchen for 15 minutes or so and then I became unnerved. The house was "quiet".... it is rarely quiet. I went into the livingroom where all 4 of my kids were spread out around the livingroom intently watching.
Imagine, all 4 watching "White Christmas"..... the singing, the dancing...
(sigh)....
:)
Even though I grew up on cable... and I turned out just fine...
:)
... for some reason I don't want my kids to know every Leons Christmas Sales pitch from 1987 to 1996...
And sure it was cute, growing up, when my mom would come in my room in the morning and say "Time to make the donuts."
good times... good times...
I guess it is still up in the air...
will I or won't I?
I have a Malamute that thinks she is a Golden Lab.
:)
She must have been raised the first 4 years of her life with one. The second she sees one, she wants to play with it. As a matter of fact, the other day we went for a walk and Christine Hawkes's dog came through their back yard and started walking with us. Geneva and this dog were playing together. It was fantastic to watch.
We only past one dog this morning when we were out for a walk. A miniature Shelty-looking one. Geneva didn't appear to want to play.
:)
This morning is wonderfully cool out. And back out into it I go.
Drew is going to continue reading "The Golden Compass" today, and I am taking him to Tim Hortans for a snack.
I believe that there is a walnut crunch there with my name on it.
:)
She was born on Monday the 26th.
My neice weighed in Monday at 3 pounds 15 ounces and was 7 weeks early. She will be in the NICU in Moncton for the next couple of weeks. My sister was in the ICU recovering yesterday when her husband got a call from the police.
They were congratulated on the birth of their baby and then informed that a van had slammed into the front of their house.
My sister lives across the street from an elementary school. Apparently an older man hit three cars and then hit their house. I am not sure if he was parking is vehicle or lost control driving down the street.
No one was hurt. The steps can be fixed.
:)
I am that kind of person.
7 years ago I begged to go to a marriage counsellor. We went. It wasn't what i thought it would be. I expected clarity and advice. Instead, a nice old man told us we didn't need counselling and that we could figure it out...
But in the end, no amount of compassion I had (and I had alot of it over these many years) would have motivated my husband to want me.
His lies got old. And I know why he told them... He wanted them to be true.
And it took me all those years to finally let go... lies are lies...
Exhausted. I was the only one fighting for it.
I fought for the truth, and then... one day last year... there it was...
It had been there the entire time and once i saw it, i resisted the urge to shatter into a thousand pieces... I had to stand strong regardless of this realization.
And there i was, standing strong... but it stung.
I wasn't enough... maybe i never had been...
But all things being equal,
(not sure what that means but i love how it sounds)
:)
know this, I'll still do whatever it takes...
For my family.
:)
My kids and my dog,
and me...
I am finally happy.
I am building my self esteem back up, that i lost when I gave it to someone else to be in charge of...
never again...
never ever ever again...
ever......
never ...
:)
I have ridiculously high standards for myself.
Never show weakness. Never cry. Tough it out. Get it done. Suck it up. Don't complain. Get over it.
This attitude meshes well with my high pain tolerance. It started with a tattoo, then a tongue piercing,... then another tattoo,... then another piercing (kinda personal where it was ...nudge nudge, wink wink...)...
Physical pain doesn't bother me...
However, I have crashed emotionally in my life... I can think of two times...
... felt useless, hopeless, incapable... and it scared me...
I hate feeling like I need something.
and, oh boy, do I need something...
:P
something rough, and rambuncious, and spontaneous, and fun and ....
and...
and...
my friends offer lots of advice, which i thank them for... but its no use...
:)
I am holding out...
until i get what i want... or... until i implode...
which ever comes first...
(pardon the pun)...
This morning's jog was just what I needed.
The fact that I had drank so heavily last night was still effecting me. And the best thing, in my experience, for a hangover... is an early morning jog.
I drink very rarely, and even when i do, it is only one glass of wine... But last night I had a bottle of wine. The whole bottle. Myself!!
(surely I made the naughty list for that!)
Then, once I made it to the bar, I decided that a Corona or two was necessary. And in all honesty, I haven't been that drunk in years... (not my finest 3 hrs)....
But back to my jog...
Before I left the house, I had a large glass of chocolate milk and two large glasses of water.
I started off running well... (Surprisingly.)
But at km 10... my body decided to disagree with what it was doing. I walked for about 5 minutes and then decided that that was enough of a rest. I toughed it out and jogged the remaining 3 km.
Though-out the jog I did alot of thinking.
I have been single for a very long time. But I never actually felt "lonely" until recently...
After I got off the float during the Christmas parade, I was standing by the road and I was watching the end of the Parade go by and I felt it. It only lasted a brief moment... and I was actually surprised by it.
I allowed myself to feel it for a moment... and then I pushed it away.
I have never really experienced feeling loney in my life. I was the type of person that never needed anyone in my life that way. Actually, I have had only 3 boyfriends. And there were plenty of gaps of singleness where i hungout with friends and helped them deal with their man problems. Why on earth would i want to compound the situation with my own "issues" that required tissues...?
So I jogged and enjoyed life.
The fact that I have been single again for so long doesn't bother me at all. It tends to bother other people. But that moment, at the parade watching Santa go by... I stood there with my two oldest boys and I felt lonely... deep down lonely...
...
Thankfully, I haven't felt that way since...
I am jogging and enjoying life...
again.
I have decided, in the last 24 hrs, to move to Nunavut and raise malamutes.
:)
I have a great sense of humour, really i do... but wow, ....
Not only are the planets aligned against me, they are taking great satisfaction at mocking me as well...
Tonight I went to the Hockey game with my sister and Randy. It was a good game, however, Tammy decided after the game that she didn't want to go out dancing after-all, so I took her home.
Randy is newly single (and not from town, poor guy) so i promised to take him to the bar and help him find his groove again.
Upon arriving at the bar I suddenly decided against going in. It wasn't a good night, there was a full moon with an erie ring, the wind was blowing from the wrong direction... I had a thousand reasons to go back home...
We stood on the street and I was given a verbal whooping of sorts.
In the end, my compassion for Randy trumped my need to crawl into a hole ...
I was his friend and he wanted to meet a girl. We went in and he showed me a thing or two about being not shy. He had the guts of a Spartan. He would approach any girl and say anything. It was fantastic to watch.
:)
But alas, my comfort zone decreased exponentially as the younger crowd overwhelmed the bar and by 1am i wanted to retire... all this matchmaking was exhausting...
I walked home, the wind blowing from the wrong direction, the erie moon shining down...
"ah, sometimes I grow so tired"
... that was 4 hrs ago.
I tried to sleep but my thoughts were annoyingly painful.
I guess I'll "ramble on"...
... i always feel better after a jog... 10km should do it....
:)
Today it IS November.
Finally some chilly weather.
:)
This morning I got up and took my little sister to the Farmers Market in Moncton. We wandered around and it was wonderful.
Then we went to the Moncton Hospital to see my pregnant sister. She is swelling so the Dr's put her on bedrest....in the hospital... she is miserable...
:P
I got back to Amherst and took Geneva for a walk.
It was nice. Nice and cold.
:)
Now I am home and will hop into the shower to get ready for the Hockey game.
Maybe a glass of Naked Grape first...
...yeah, i did get the bottle opened the other night... i just needed to want it bad enough...
and it was mine...
Have no doubt, hard work always pays off in the end.
I know that earlier this week I had intended on getting back into Marathon training but... I got landed with a virus... that I am finally recovering from.
I bought Haven a bed yesterday and spent all this morning changing ALL the bedrooms around...
Goodness what a job...
It was rediculous that I had the huge bedroom all to myself. I gave it to the 3 boys. Haven took Drew's room and Haven's room is now a walkin/walkthrough closet....
I am in Kale and Myles's room. It makes much more sense...
Drew was only grumpy for a moment when he realized that he was losing his own room... but I assured him that if he ever wanted privacy that he can go into my room.
The virus caused me to crash at 2pm....
Tomorrow I expect to feel like my old self again...
I'll go to the YMCA and jog and workout... and then walk the dog and scrapbook.
Tomorrow night is the hockey game.
:)
This is pretty funny stuff...
:)
If you need a laugh... I recommend it...
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9583360145
... sits on the kitchen counter... impailed with the cork screw...
What a sad picture it is indeed...
I hadn't the energy to remove the cork...
:(
So the bottle of wine sits there... begging me to try again... or maybe it taunts me...
Yah,.... I feel taunted.
I went "balls to the wall" again today when i should have rested...
... maybe tomorrow I'll rest?
:)
I'll rest when that bottle is opened.
That is the only thing that might work...
Yesterday, when i should have been in bed slathered down with Vicks Vapo Rub, I was out running around Moncton and Amherst.
By 5pm I knew I was done for, and decided to not participate as a leader at Cubs, lest I compromise someone else's immune system. Instead, I dropped Drew off with his pictures and the camera for his Photography Badge. Then I hopped back into the van and I drove to Oxford to deliver Cole's birthday party invitation.
I almost hit 2 deer on Cole's grandparent's road. Seems ironic, considering they were out hunting deer at that very moment....
:)
Today brings more to do... Sackville for snowflakes, walking with Henri.... the search for a pair of fancy red shoes for Haven. The Poly Cello Christmas party is Sat. I won't be there, but my kids will be and since they only "dress-up" once a year.... they better be stylin....
I have dishes to finish...
and some oomph to find...
And maybe ...just maybe.... I'll buy some Duct Tape today... cause you just never know when you are going to need it...
(wink wink)...
:P
I am going to have to accept that I have a cold.
ug... I want to just curl up and hide away until i feel better.
It has taken me 3 days of feeling this way to finally throw my hands up in defeat and say, "I need a gallon of eucalyptus bubble bath stuff and some rest."
I am a firm believer in "mind over matter", and i guess i figured that if I egnored the way i was feeling for a couple of days... then, by then time i was ready to cave in... i would already be over the hump and feeling better.
Not so much...
It is what it is ...
:P
In an effort to be a better me, I woke up this morning at 5am.
I am leaving the house soon to go to the YMCA and work out. The plan is to jog 45 minutes and then work out legs.
It is relatively nice out right now. But the fear of slipping on ice is enough to keep me jogging indoors for the rest of the winter if need be.
My younger sister has been doing fantastic with her Simply For Life program, where as I have been sucking back Whopper Candy like it's cocaine.
mmmmm... Whopper Candy....
But that is all about to change.
I am hardly feeling 100% right now, but i intend on taking some Vitamin C before I leave to go to the YMCA, and then spend the day drinking lots of water and eating greek salads...
It should be a nice drive to Halifax later this morning to buy Nutcracker tickets from my very own personal homeschooling ticker scalper... and then a detour to the Scout Shop in Westville.
I hope that anyone that reads this has a great day... and drinks an extra glass of water...
... we just don't drink enough water...
:)
I walked my dog.
I went to Sackville NB to buy snowflakes.
I am going to Halifax tomorrow to buy tickets to see "The Nutcracker".
I haven't slept in 2 days going on 3.
:)
... my oh-so simple life...
Myles is my "obsessor".
Last year, a dog got hit by a car infront of our house. Myles took it hard. He didn't stop talking about it for days...
Tonight, the topic of "death" rears it's inexplicable head again...
He was overwhelmed with fear... and he cried and cried... I wiped away his tears and told him that everyone thinks about death. And that everyone has different opinions.
We talked about what some religions believe happens to you when you die.
He does not seem convinced that "Heaven" is the way to go. He does like the idea of coming back as an animal... but he wants to pick the animal. And it has to be an animal that doesn't have any enemies...
:)
I suggested a Polar Bear.
And he seems ok with that for a while ... but then the idea of the fact that everyone will die someday... it gets to him...
I love that he is thinking so deeply and thoughtfully about death...
:)
However, it is one of those parenting moments that you feel at a loss... there are no answers... only opinions...
If he asks me what is the scientific name for a Balsam Fir is... I can give the right answer... but this... this death talk... such a challenge...
sink or swim time....
and... he has already asked to sleep in my bed tonight... poor thing...
and of course I said yes...
I have this big old useless bed... I should just give it away... and sleep on the couch...
but that is another blog entirely...
:P
Well, by 11 pm only two kids had dropped off into snooze-land...
my youngest two.
At midnight Jonah complained of a stomach ache. I knew he was serious and i offered any number of solutions.... but in the end... he just laid down and went to sleep. His sister was next, and then Myles....
At 1am Drew and Ethan and Emilie were still awake playing Pokemon cards at the table... while they played, I debated with Nadine on messenger about whether it is better to be shot by the PO-PO or be Tasered.
:)
At 1:30am, I told Drew that I was going upstairs and if there was a problem or question of any kind...to come and get me...
:)
At 2am Drew came into my room and informed me that Jonah had woke up and threw up all over the floor...
(I can hear you gasp and then laugh.... yeah....hahahahahahahahahahahaha...)
I smile i think, "the glass is broken" .... then, I go downstairs and make sure that Jonah is in better spirits before I attempt to clean up the mess...
I call Jonah's Dad and let him know the situation. He says he will be right there.
Emilie, with her big beautiful blue eyes, stops me in the hallway and looks up and me and tells me that she is AWAKE. And that her eyes just stay opened until they cannot stay opened any more...
:)
So I asked her to pick out a cartoon and she could stay awake and watch it. She was soooooo happy.
Jonah's dad came just as Sinbad was starting.
I went back upstairs and tried to catch some zzzz's.... knowing full well that my youngest two are usually up at 6am...
At 6:30am Kale came into my room and snuggled up to me and asked "How many more minutes until we can go downstairs...?"
"5 minutes" was my responce....
and 25 minutes later Haven woke up.
:)
And here we are.
The sun is shining. The birds are singing...
Another fantastic day awaits...
Generally, every month I'll have a sleepover for the kids. Drew can invite two kids and Myles can invite two kids...
When I was growing up, I was allowed to have friends over whenever i wanted to. I generally wouldn't even ask my mom because the answer was always the same... "I don't care."
:)
I like to take the sleepover just one step farther and have themes.
Tonight the kids all particpated in the Town's Christmas Parade. They were with me on the "Beaver and Cub" Float.
What a Fantastic time!!!
:)
We sang songs and waved at the crowd. We were warm enough until we got off the float... then it was COLD!!!
:)
We got everyone back to my house and I served them all hot chocolate...
And right now my 4 kids and 4 of their friends are watching "Elf". 8 kids in my livingroom and you could hear a pin drop...
I guess when I try and think of it from someone else's perspective.... it may seem like alot of effort. But really, only Haven is in diapers and she can feed herself... so... really... where is the effort?
I put the odd band-aid on a hurt finger, I did make some Holiday Rice Krispie squares, and there will be a huge pile of dishes tomorrow...
But it is worth it...
:)
The kids always have a blast... and strangely, they have all been singing too... even the boys... Songs like: Grandma got ran over by a reindeer, Tarzan, and the "burn down the school" version of Deck the Halls...
Kids are funny...
:)
I wonder which list I will make this year...
:)
Probably "nice"... probably the "rediculously, over compassionately, nice" list... the list where Santa actually makes an appointment to sit with me to explain how I could stand to actually be a little "naughty"... and he'll overlook it...
:)
heeheehee...
Anyways, I took my kids to the town's "Christmas Lights" last night.
We parked by town hall and walked down.
We walked around a bit but then settled on the grass by the First Baptist Chruch. Myles was convinced that the festivities would start when my cell phone said 7pm... but it wasn't to be...
:)
The lights came on after the speaches.
Drew, Myles, and Kale (jacketless), wrestled on the grass while they waited. Haven would test how far away she could walk before i called her name ... :)
It was wonderfully romantic.
All of it.
Then we came home and I played the guitar some. I couldn't find my electric tuner so i made do with my other one... but i think i need a new guitar. The strings aren't staying in tune for very long...
I'll ask for a new guitar and... an axe for christmas... (I miss swinging my axe around)...
Today brings me back into domestic bliss... dishes, laundry, sweeping, vacuming, the usual run around town, and then the Town's Christmas Parade is tonight.
I better get to it...
:P
Not long after I got up this morning, I took the kids to pick up a friend and her son. We drove to Wallace and went swimming at Fox Harb'r Golf Resort and Spa.
It was beautiful.
:)
We swam for 2 hours. There was no one else there.
It was hard to leave. You truely felt pampered. They had thought of everything. Lifejackets, balls, swim gloves, noodles, soft music, Bio-lage shampoo and conditioner in the steam baths...
We swam and played in complete serenity... whilst a storm raged outside...
Now I am home and I am about to make some brushetta and then knit for a while.
(sigh)...
:)
My day never did get back to feeling "right". I felt like I was bumbleing through... knowing the whole time that it cannot always be sunny... I must endure the rough patches to appreciate the good days.
I did go for coffee this afternoon with a friend of mine, John Collicott. He told me about a new show... "Dexter?"... CSI-ish... but the guy is a serial killer :)
It is now 11pm at night and I just got back from Oxford where I took all the kids to a "Survivor Party" at the Cloney's. Gene had just got back from hunting, and Linda showed up later. Pam, Russel, Cole, Deidre, and Jake were there... and Faye always made sure that the kids had popcorn and juice.
My sister called me while I was there and told me that Mom is back up in Moncton Hospital and is doing quite bad...
The chemotherapy she had recently has wiped her out... I guess we will know more in the next few days...
Tomorrow morning I will be going out for a run. If it seems too cold I will be hitting the treadmill.
And then tomorrow night is the town's "downtown lightup"...
but now, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
You were born an original. Don't die a copy. ~John Mason
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955
99% of the time I am me.
I am happy, confident, and fun.
And then, there are those ugly moments when my confidence is being tested.
And I fail.
Last night, I had 3 different people compliment me on my hair. It was aweful. Most people, people accustomed to being complimented, would wallow in the compliment, roll-around in it, and smear in all over their ego... like butter on mashed potatoes... but not me.
I felt like I had taken something from them that i didn't deserve. I had stolen a compliment. I felt like apologising.
And then I felt bad that I felt that way about myself.
Ug, a vicious circle indeed...
I know I am too hard on myself...
I need to stop.
If only my confidence, that I feel when I am alone, could carry over to when I am with other people.
It would also be nice to accept a compliment without feeling some strange sort of guilt...
:P
This morning started off with a horrible fight with my ex-husband ...
What an aweful way to start your day.
:(
I love mornings. And this morning is a perfect example of why.
:)
When my two youngest wake up, they crawl into bed with me, and they giggle, laugh and make a bunch of snoring sounds, and then... they start begging for the "Backyardagens". I follow them downstairs and tuck them snuggly into the couch with a blanket.
I put on my Sorels and a sweater and grab the dog's leash. Geneva and I go outside so she can do whatever business (if any) she has to do.
This morning, 20 minutes ago, I stood there....and stood there.... and yes, I stood there... I could have stood there for an hour. It was quiet, surprizingly warm, and I didn't want to leave...
If my kids had been older, and didn't need me to burn their toast,... I would have grabbed a chair, a blanket, and a cup of coffee and just sat out there... breathing in, breathing out...
...but, sitting outside in the snow is not something I am able to do just yet, instead... I have other matters that need my attention...
...toast needs to be burnt, laundry started, and ... a shower... a hot shower...
mmmmmmmm.... better get to it... :)
This is a picture of Myles last winter.
:)
Myles loves the snow almost as much as I do.
Drew is not as fond because he literally has no fat at all on his body to keep him warm.
Today is the day that Drew will be getting some new Winter Boots, and maybe some skates.
I wonder if there is school today? If not, then maybe we can invite some kids to go sledding at the golf course...
I don't have any real big plans today:
Maybe some sledding, Drew's boots and skates, working out with weights and jogging at the YMCA this afternoon, and working on some math with the kids. (Mulitiplication).
A simple day.
:)
How can anyone hate snow?
:)
It is fantastic!!! Nothing makes you feel more like getting outside, than a bunch of the white stuff on the ground.
I got up this morning and was soooo happy to see the snow had stayed and that it was still falling. I got ready for the Rememberance Day Ceremonies and then went outside to wait for Dad. While I waited, i shoveled my driveway.
Dad showed up 30 minutes early because he had to go down to the Fire Station first. I was dropped off at the Armories and went inside. The bands were practising. Tim Cook was there again. I find it odd that he comes up from Halifax, where he is an RCMP officer, to help with the Amherst Group. I wonder why he doesn't help with a Halifax group?
It was getting late and no other Cubs or Beavers had arrived yet so i went out for a walk.
:)
Walking downtown Amherst while it snows is like being in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life." Nostalgic.... pretty... peaceful....
The Ceremonies were held indoors at the Baptist Church. There was a good crowd and the kids were all very well behaved.
Then I walked home and changed. I headed to Tim Hortans for lunch and a good novel.
I read for about an hour and then came back home to take Geneva for a hike around town in the "blizzard"...
:)
It was windy and wet and even a bit cold. But i was warm and happy...
Now i am sitting here trying to keep up with Nadine and Iris's messenger conversation... meanwhile the snow melts in my hair and drips down my neck onto my back...
I need to get out of these wet clothes and into a hot bubble bath...
plus, I still have a little wine left,....
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... yeah.
I am currently indulging in some fine wine... so this will take much longer to type than i'd like...
The Ramblers won their game tonight. I went with my younger sister and my friend Pam who was up visiting from Truro.
I enjoyed the game but i wished my Dad were there. It feels weird to be there and he wasn't there. He hasn't "Reffed" in years but he would still go and stand by the glass...
:(
He spent tonight hanging out with Mom and I heard that my service are needed tomorrow. Mom needs me to shave her head. :)
The last time she got cancer her hair fell out a little but not enough to warrent a wig... but this time i guess it is bad and she is getting a wig this week but wants her head shaved tomorrow...
this i can do... :)
I can also kick my sisters rear in a snowball fight and I proved that, TONIGHT. We have "accumulated" snow falling right now, and while walking out to Pam's car after the game, Tammy threw the first snowball... but i finished it...
:P
I must say that the game was a good one... lots of passing. I remember my first University Hockey game and how different the game felt. University games were veryvery skillfully played. Lots of fancy passing and shots. Very little fighting.
Tonight's game was reminsent of that. :)
My kids called me from Digby while I was at the game to tell me that Myles got new boots, Kale got a new hat, Drew met a new friend, and Haven told me she missed me...
I love my kids....
I came home and took Geneva out to pee... She stepped outside and started rubbing the sides of her nose in the grass/snow.... she was soooooo happy...
I am considering taking her out for another walk tonight... but... i may just finish my wine and head off to bed...
zzzzzzzzzz.
It was a good day.
I woke up this morning and needed to jog. NEEDED.
I got out the door and surprizingly, I felt good. Not far into the jog, it started to rain, ... then snow, then rain and snow together.
It was perfect.
:)
I felt fantastic the whole way. I thought I would be dragging my feet. Then, as I was jogging past Home Again Drycleaners, I remembered I had to pick up my Cub Shirt for tomorrow. They close at noon so as soon as I am done this blog I have to walk over there and get my shirt.
Plus, people are coming to see the house at 1pm, with the Realtor, and I still have some cleaning to do.
After supper, my younger sister and I might be going to the Hockey game. After which I will go home and rock out on my guitar... speaking of which, it was quite the scene here last night, a half empty bottle of wine on the floor, my guitar tuner nearby, and me playing my guitar and singing any one of the 5 songs I attempt from time to time...
-Wish You Were Here,
-Silent Night,
-Tangerine,
-Southern Cross,
and On Top of Spaghetti...
... Geneva always howls when I play my guitar tuner... but not when i sing... so I'll take a compliment where i can get one...
:)
Something strange is going on this week.
And today was the icing on the cake, I swear I must have won the "wrong place at the wrong time" lottery.
I took my dog for a walk at 10am, and nothing went right.
I'll share the things that I can remember, but I have muttered the words "are you kidding me?" a thousand times today...
For example: I had to go to the bank and assumed my dog was not allowed to follow me in, so I attatched Geneva to the far post, while i went in. I come back out, barely 5 minutes later, and the Poe-Poe (my sister's ever-affectionate term for the Police) is parked watching me and my dog... I half expected them to jump out of their cruiser and ask to see my dog's tag. But they didn't, they just gave me "the eye".
"are you kidding me?"
I unemotionally unattatch Geneva, the Poe-Poe drive off, and we walk up to the mall to pay for my high speed. This fact in itself is not so humourous because I had, in-fact, paid the bill yesterday. However, the money went unretrievably into my cellphone account. grrrrrr...
"are you kidding me?"
It is what it is, so I ventured up to the mall from downtown, to pay for my internet (again).
:P
I get ready to cross Robert Anges Drive, just past Dairy Queen. I don't hear anything coming so I am just about to step out onto the road as I turn and look... and I see a Truck coming.
Granted, it was a big beautiful Truck, yes... but the fact that i was just about to be squashed was completely unfair. Even more unfair was the fact that it was being driven by a fellow Cub Leader. Horribly unfair indeed. Unfair in ways I cannot describe here and now.
I turned around and kept walking until it past. Blushing a red so profound there are no words to describe it, I dragged my jaw acrossed the road and shook my head in complete disbelief...
"are you kidding me?"
I decided, right then and there, that hiding out today and tonight in my house is probably the best thing to do...
I went on to pay my bill at Aliant, then I bought a bottle of wine, and came directly home to have a bath, get drunk and wait for the planets to go back to the way they were...
If a meteor hits my house... you can tell the Poe-Poe I saw it coming a mile away... and I smiled and said "are you kidding?"
Kyle is taking the kids to Digby tomorrow morning.
He won't be back until Monday. The kids will be participating in the Rememberance day ceremonies down there.
Here in Amherst, I will find stuff to do. Walk the dog, clean the house, and will probably run 20km Friday and Sunday....
my body needs it in the worst kind of way.
:)
Everytime I was pregnant, I still did it all (with the exception of jogging).
I almost never played my "pregnancy card". The figurative one that pregnant women use to get out of doing things like housework, driving places...
Since my neck surgery, I cannot remember playing my "scar card", but I am about to.
My neck is numb in places and sensitive in others. This is something that over the last year and a half that I have just dealt with. But now, being a Cub Leader, I must wear a uniform shirt buttoned up all the way and a "necker".
Having to wear the shirt buttoned up all the way and the necker, is like wearing a barbed wire necklace...
So... I have been wearing a scarf a knit to help. It helps tremendously. The only downside is that i get alot of people asking if I am cold.
So I might just have to lay it out there.
As much as i hate to sook about anything, my "scar card" is about to be played.
:P
This means I would have the entire weekend to myself.
:)
Maybe I'll go out for lunch? See a movie? Watch stars?
I will probably spend some time playing "Silent Night" on my guitar. You can definately tell that that is the song I am attempting to play... but I need practise.
Practise.
Mr Warham emailed me today and asked me who is "Deb Megeney".
:P
Very good question.
I intend on finding out. I used to know her. From what I can remember: she was alot of fun to be around and enjoyed life.
:)
I feel like I should say something about today... even though nothing much happened.
- had coffee with Nadine this morning.
- went walking with Henri.
- Dad took Mom up to Moncton for her Chemotherapy. (she gets it every 21 days)
- took Geneva for a walk around the block.
...and now I am waiting for my little sister to call me so we can go walking.
walkwalkwalk
:)
Tomorrow is WWI day and some swimming...
... how is it that i graduated high school and know absolutely nothing about WWI?
I guess I fell through the cracks...
:)
Danika was 7 weeks early.